Lucid Legislation: A Paradox
Go to the kiosk and have your frontal lobe ready to give. The window is tinted, and you have to slide it through dirty metal that shares the souls of millions. Nobody is working, but many are sleeping, trying to put food in their children's mouths. The only other job is for people who have to cycle through twisted minds and find something story-worthy to convert into money. There are strict guidelines for these deposits, though. You cannot use any form of enhancements to get dreams going.
Yes, there are nights when you will not dream at all. This may go on for a few days or months, so you do have to be frugal with your funds. You cannot take any psychedelics, melatonin, herbal tea, and, yes, raspberry chocolate chip ice cream before bed. It is also forbidden to be going through forms of anxiety, depression, and schizophrenia. The individual has to be completely pure. Dreams must be documented 10 minutes upon waking, handwritten, and not to be shared with anyone else - not even your loved ones. Time is currency, so it has to be correct.
You are being monitored at all times, so anything you dream of that may be twisted can result in you being taken into custody and having your brain examined by the School of Psychology - the only School around. Citizens are eligible for currency at age 15, and you are given double the amount if you can recount the day you were born before the age of 83.
Your wife has access to your dreams, too. She has the power to receive double the amount if she dreams you have cheated on her.
Dreams where you are the main character in your own action movie are not allowed. If you have a relative or close friend who has passed and you dreamt about them - there is no fee the next time you go.
Sleep paralysis does not count, and you are instructed not to sleep on your back purposely and to develop a bedtime routine beforehand. If you attempt to get a full 45 minutes to lucid dream, it does not count. Nightmares are not allowed, either.
The money you withdrawl can only be used on dream-inducing food products like dairy, pasta, bread, sugar, and cheese. Red meat and alcohol are prohibited.
There is no time to reflect on your dreams, and you can not text or call your parents to ask them to interpret them or tell them to call and check in on your great aunt, who lives in Oklahoma.
If you are a writer, musician, or filmmaker, dreams cannot be used to inspire your latest project.
It is also not allowed to wake up the following day and wear a particular pair of shoes or jewelry you have not worn since your junior year of college because it holds some significant meaning. Immediately going to church is firmly against the rules of the government.
You are allowed one Google search to discover what your dream means and what it cannot be under an organization or network.
We thank you for your cooperation and welcome to the beautiful state of California.
